Today is the official start of Dustin's time in California. Two weeks ago we moved in to the spare bedroom at Blaine and Sam's house. The Merrick family was a complete blessing in our lives, but we decided it would be best for my mental sanity to move in with Blaine and Sam while Dustin is gone for a month. Sam is home for the summer since he is a high school football coach/teacher and Blaine is on maternity leave so we figured I probably would have been coming over here every day anyway. During this process, I know I am going to be so thankful to be surrounded and living with Blaine and Sam to help encourage, support, and distract me. I also love that I have been able to see Gracen grow and love being with her every single day. I am continually amazed by how gracious the Lord has been to us and am excited to see what He will continue to do through Dustin in Califonia. The verse that keeps coming to my mind is Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a human heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." As much as I would love to stay in Dallas, I know that we are going to be placed according to His Purpose. What a comfort and joy to know that this whole thing is covered.

On Thursday, June 12, sweet baby Gracen arrived! She was born at 3:16 pm, weighed 9 lbs, 10 oz and was 20 3/4 inches long! Blaine and baby went home a few days after Gracen was born and are doing so great in their new home! Mom stayed in Dallas for over a week and oh my goodness, how I want to learn how to love and serve others as she does! Blaine and Sam moved into their new home when Gracen was a week old (yeah, so not ideal timing), so mom helped pack and move them, cooked dinner, stocked their fridge, cleaned, and ran errands so Blaine and Sam could take time to focus on themselves and baby. I am so beyond thankful for that woman in my life and how I so want to be just like her! Dustin finished his last mandatory practices a couple days ago and is off for the next three weeks. He decided he wanted to stay in Dallas because he wants to take this time to work out and study hard before he leaves for training camp in California. The past couple weeks I have been giving volleyball lessons and training for a half marathon--both things that I have been wanting to do for a while. Training for this half marathon has been SO good for me because it has given me something to work for since I haven't been able to actually work since I can't really commit to a job right now. I decided to run the half on June 8.. and race day is on June 28.. so I haven't really given myself much time to train but again, my competitive nature has kinda taken over. A verse that has really hit me these last couple of weeks is 1 Thessalonians 5:16. There are days that I desire stability and want to know that Dustin has a job so I can commit to a job, have a permanent place to call home (that's not our storage unit in Irving with all of our stuff in it) and so want someone to walk up to me and say "God told me y'all are staying in Dallas." That clearly is not how things usually work. Although God's plan for our lives is not going to be mailed to me (or my parent's home address in Corpus because we don't really have a permanent address right now... can you tell I'm struggling with the lack of stability, today?) 1 Thessalonians 5:16 says this "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" BOOM! THERE IS SOMETHING I CAN DO RIGHT NOW! GOD'S WILL IS WRITTEN OUT FOR ME! I can rejoice and give thanks for the circumstance God placed us in and I can pray continuously for Dustin and for the adventure that is ahead. As I continue to battle wanting stability and wanting a crystal ball to tell me what the future holds, I can rest in this verse. Thankful for a God who daily bears our burdens for us!  PS. How STINKING cute is this little niece of mine?!

Happy Memorial Day! I have had so many moments these last couple of weeks of just stopping and thanking my God for what he has laid before us. He placed us in Dallas-close to family, friends, and people we know and how my heart just screams with joy. I've said it before, and I will continue to say this... we are so undeserving of this adventure but how thankful I am for the Lord's blessings. The family we are living with is beyond wonderful! The Merricks are so generous and supportive and have really taken time to get to know us and have allowed us to get to know their family. What a complete blessing from the Lord to allow us to live with such a great family! I honestly have no idea how people do this when they go to a city away from home and do not know a single soul. But, because I know there are so many people who do it, I am so thankful that we at least started off in Dallas where we can get our feet wet as we learn what life in the NFL is like while surrounded by family and friends. What a complete joy to learn what it means to live by faith in trusting a God whose hands have been covering us all along from day one! What a complete joy to know that there is nothing I can do besides pray for, encourage, love, and support Dustin (and maybe cook a meal or two for him) along this journey and that our future is not in my hands at all. I really battled with this whole "not being in control thing" for a while. I am such a "do-er" and a go-getter that it was really hard for me to just sit back and watch the Lord work without overanalyzing everything and trying to make matters in my own hands. And let's be honest, is there really anything I can do to make sure Dustin makes the 53 man roster? I am still learning what a defensive end does and what holding is (okay, I'm exaggerating... well, kinda). But what a joy that there is even nothing Dustin can do besides work hard and try to make every day better than the day before.  If it is His will for us to be in Dallas, the Lord will continue to provide. If it is His will that we move to a different city, the Lord will provide. What a joy that we serve such a loving, generous, forgiving, and faithful God! What is He teaching me in this time? 1. To trust in Him 2. To fully enjoy and be thankful for this time 3. To be intentional--to be intentional with finding friendships, getting involved in church and other activities that I enjoy doing, and finding things to do to keep my 24-year-old-unemployed-always-have-to-be-doing-something-but-I-don't-like-watching-tv-self busy

Well, it's official! Dustin is a Dallas Cowboy!! The draft happened May 8, 9, and 10 and was filled with 3 non-stop days of emotional highs and lows. Prior to the draft, Dustin received phone calls had three private work outs. Before the draft, I was nervous, excited, anxious but overall ready to face the adventure ahead while doing it together. Drew was 100% amazing and we are so thankful for a man who believes his best quality is his ability to give good advice. Now trust me when I say Drew did some SERIOUS advice giving those three days... especially once free agency opened up. With five minutes to make a decision, Dustin and I had to step outside and quickly pray and talk about the situation at hand to figure out which direction we were going. Once we made a decision, there were definitely some major tears shed by me at this point because the decision we made was not the one I had necessarily selfishly hoped for. But it was the one Drew said would be best and we trusted his advice because we know he wants nothing but the best for us. In an insane turn of events and about six phone calls and one unanswered phone call later,  we get the news that we are going to Dallas.. the team I had selfishly so wanted to at least start our NFL journey with. Tears and tears and laughter and smiles filled the room! What a day to remember with some of the people we love and who love us the most! Sunday morning, the day after we found out we were going to Dallas, Dustin gets a phone call while we are at church from someone within the Cowboys organization that said they put Dustin on a flight to Dallas at 7 pm THAT night, and oh yeah, he'll be in Dallas for seven weeks. Thank goodness we had been in Corpus for a week so he had quite a few clothes with him since we had been planning on going back to Canyon before he left for training. After frantically doing laundry and packing his bags, I dropped him off at the airport with a huge lump in my throat. MY HUSBAND WAS LIVING HIS CHILDHOOD DREAM OF BECOMING AN NFL QUARTERBACK! Right now, Dustin will be at rookie camp for seven weeks and will have weekends off. My mom, Dustin's mom, and I are going to pack our house in Canyon and move it all into a storage unit in Dallas. A dear family friend, Darian, set us up with an amazing living situation while we are in Dallas. We are going to live in one of her church friend's backhouses for a little while until we can figure out what our next step will be. With the first few days of workouts completed, I am so amazed by Dustin's confidence, humility, and patience with this entire process and being thrown into the "professional athlete" category.

How cool is it that Dustin is at the NFL combine right now?! What a surreal, once in a lifetime opportunity that not many people can say they have achieved. As I sit and watch him on TV the next couple of days, I know anxiety is going to take over. Watching your future on TV without having any control over what happens, is a little nervewracking. As much as I have told myself to relax, enjoy the ride, and trust the Lord, why is it so hard to do just that? Why do I feel like God is going to abandon us now?! Even if Dustin doesn't play in the NFL, God's plans are so much better than my own, yet why does my flesh forget this and try to take over?! He was with Dustin at the NFLPA bowl game in Carson, CA, and I fully know that he is preparing Dustin for something great!

Before I go to bed each night, I always find myself replaying the events of the day. Usually thoughts are focused on how many billion steps I took walking from patient room to patient room, or how many call lights went off because "he pressed it on accident", or how many IVs decided to go bad at 6:15 pm while getting two admissions, or how many times I got kicked in the chest and spit at by a two year old who doesn't want to take his medicine. But as I lay here tonight, I am deeply challenged by this thought: how many times did I let opportunities pass me up today... Opportunities to love others, to show my heart belongs to Jesus, to have the attention less on me and more on Him. At work, I'm tired, stressed, and just exhausted. But does that excuse me from showing kindness in all I do, whether it be a patient, family member, co worker? Absolutely not.  Tonight I am praising God for his forgiveness when we are so undeserving. Tonight I am praising God that his mercies are new each morning. Lamentations 3:22-23 "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness"

You know I thought I had this whole long distance shenanigans down. But it turns out long distance marriage is way more challenging than long distance dating. With Dustin training in Dallas the past few months, I've really been doing some much needed soul searching. Although I won't go into great detail, those who know me best know this time period has been challenging in almost every way possible. Although my attitude can be... well flat out horrible some days, my heart remains so beyond thankful because the Lord has blessed us way more than we deserve. Dustin has the most amazing agent, Drew Pittman, guiding us through his journey in the NFL. We trust him like we trust our parents and are so thankful we have a godly man with integrity who is great at what he does. His QB coach who is training him this spring is equally as amazing and long story short-before Dustin's senior year of high school, Dustin was at a QB camp and Richard Bartel, his QB coach, was playing in the NFL at the time. When someone asked Rich who has the most potential to be an NFL QB of the guys at the camp, Rich responded with Dustin's number. Fast forward six years, and it is Rich who is helping make Dustin's dream of becoming an NFL QB a reality. Some may say that connection is just because we live in a small world, but I think it is because the God we serve is HUGE. There was a period of time that I was struggling with the uncertainty of our future. Of course  I wanted him to chase his dream... but the odds of playing in the NFL are so low that all rational human thinking inside me was fighting with "we've got to have a back up plan." Do we have a back up plan? Nope, not really. But what we have is the continuous promises that the Lord will always provide. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Dustin loves playing football but God may have such a greater plan for him that may or may not include football. But he's in control, not courtney. Phew! Thank goodness for that! And he knows our hearts more than we know our own. So as this journey and unknown adventure continues, I know my heart will continue to be changed and molded. May my prayer be like David's "show me  your ways, Lord, teach me your plans. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are my God my Savior, and hope is in you all day" Psalm 25:4-5